| Science
Fiction
Turn
the Light off when you leave...!
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Q: How many creatures from Altair VII does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: One. Though he will break the new bulb, the glow from his fingerprints will provide a quite nice illumination. |
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Q: How many martians (mutants) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Two and a half. |
| Q: How many Nitpicks does it take to change a light bulb? |
A: None. They just let someone else change it, then they point out all the mistakes the bulb-changer made.
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| Q: How many Voyager Crew does it take to change a lightbulb? |
A1: Wait until next week and the bulb won't be burned out any more. A2: Shouldn't they have run out of light bulbs A LONG TIME AGO?!? A3: Slap in a holographic bulb, with its own armstrap to keep it functioning outside a holodeck... A4: Make some new bulbs out of all the shuttle-debris they must have accumulated by now...
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Q: How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit |
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Q: How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A1: 151, one to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace. A2: Two, one to do it, and another to kill the first one and take the credit
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| Q: How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb? |
A1: Light bulbs are irrelevant. Darkness is irrelevant, changing them is futile. A2: All of them. A3: One, but the whole collective enjoys the experience. A4: None. Darkness is irrelevant. Lightbulbs will be obsolete in the new order. A5: They don't change the light bulb, they assimilate it . . .
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| Q: How many Ferengi does it take to change a lightbulb? |
A1: None of your business, huu-mahn !!! A2: Depends. How much? A3: Two: one to change it, and the other to sell the old bulb as an antique. A4: Two: one to change it and one to sell the old one as new A5: None: they'll just sell the whole lamp to some young Starfleet Ensign. A6: Just one, but he'll charge you double for it. A7: Ferengi Never change!! A8: For the right price, as many as you want .A9: None...they steal it and sell it for profit A10: Two. one to steal a new one, the other to go sell the broken one.
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| Q: How many Q's does it take to change a lightbulb? |
A1: One. Q holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him. A2: Change it into what? ) |
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Q: How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A1: "Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000" A2: One: Any more would be illogical.
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Q: How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end. |
| Q: How many Cardassians does it take to change a lightbulb? |
A1: Four, because THERE... ARE... FOUR... LIGHTS...!!! A2: Just one; however they first have to determine how many lightbulbs they see. A3: We don't need a light bulb, but if we did, we could take it from you! A4: Four, One to know how to, One to interrogate the one who knows how, one to give the orders, and one to be told to do it.
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| Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a lightbulb? |
A: Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, lightbulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. (They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.)
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