| Religion
Turn
the Light off when you leave...!
|
|
| Q: How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? |
A1: Two. One to do it and one not to. A2: "One to change and one not to change" is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is Four. One to change the bulb. A3: Zen Masters don't need light bulbs because they carry their own light with them. A4: Three. Two to fetch the wood and one to enlighten the novice. A5: A tree in a golden forest.
|
|
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
|
A: Three, but they're really only One. |
| Q: How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb? | A: We choose not to make a statement of either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb however, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ. |
|
Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
|
A: None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on. |
|
Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
|
A: Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent. |
|
Q: How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb? |
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
|
|
Q: How many Evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
|
A: 33. One to do it, 2 to bask in its glory, and 30 to take collections in the bulb's name. |
| Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb? |
A1: 101. One to change it and 100 to convince everyone else to change light bulbs too. A2: Just one, but he has to be on top.
|
|
Q: How many televangelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
|
A: None. They screw in hotel rooms. |
|
Q: How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?
|
A: None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one. |
| Top | |