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Turn
the Light off when you leave...!
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Q: How many Glaswegians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: None of your f*****g business. |
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Q: How many polite Glaswegians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Both of them. |
| Q: How many Scousers does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: One, but 200 had to apply for the job (10 turned up). |
| Q: How many Yorkshiremen does it take to change a lightbulb ? |
Q: Four. One to change it, one to hold his racing pigeon, one to hold his wippet, and one to drink his pint of bitter. And only then if he doesn't have to pay for the new bulb.
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| . Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Only one, but it takes 6000 Russian troops to make sure he doesn't go on strike |
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Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Six. One to screw it in and five to share the experience. |
| Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? |
A: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
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Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: None -- they screw in hot tubs! |
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Q. How many Floridians does it take to change a lightbulb?
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A. Don't know for sure, they're still counting. |
| Q: How many people from Sicily does it take to change a light bulb? |
A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
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| Q: How many members of the P.L.O. does it take to change a light bulb? |
A: 45 - One to drive the car, four to shoot the president of Sylvania's bodyguards, three to kidnap the president of Sylvania, five to think up the ransom demands, ten to paste up the ransom note, eight to cut little eye-holes in the cloth sacks, one to drive a truck with 2000 kilos of dynamite into the American embassy, one to claim responsibility for the bombing, and twelve to commandeer a building with working lights.
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| Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? |
A: One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage.
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Q: How many pygmies does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: At least three (height???) |
| Q: How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? |
A: Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one, and then farmer #3 changes it.
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| Q: How many Filipinoes does it take to screw in a light bulb? |
A: We don't know. The new bulb keeps getting shot at the airport.
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| Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? |
A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.
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| Q: How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb? |
A: Only one, but it took three U.S. advisors to tell them that it was burnt out in the first place.
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| Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? |
A1: Ve are asking ze qvestions here! A2: Two, one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in. A3: None. They assign the task to a gastarbeiter.
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| Q: How many Argentinians does it take to screw in a light bulb? |
A: Nine thousand-after all, it's *their* light bulb.
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| Q: How many Norwegians does is take to change a lightbulb? |
A: Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to tell a _long_ story about it...
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| Q: How many Belgians does it take to change a lightbulb ? |
A: Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.
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